ADAPTING TO CHANGE FOR YOUNG ADULTS
A Multimedia Project for Final Year in Bachelors of Media & Communication
Interviewed, Photographed & Designed by Shifa Sarguru
Who am I? Who do I want to be? Did I make the right choice? These are some of the questions that young adults ask themselves. We’re told that change is a part of life. It’s uncomfortable but necessary. Young adults are plagued by the constant doubt and fear of life. Of where they are headed. It’s a stage of life where our preexisting notions about life are constantly challenged. Where we have an identity crisis every other minute, and most of us whether living alone or not are highly caffeinated, sleep deprived and with a questionable diet of instant noodles. This anxiousness about the future and the thought “I’ve not done enough” consumes a better part of our days. This is the age where we are prone to feeling “loss of meaning or purpose” because we’re constantly contemplating the same question: “Who am I supposed to be?”
I’m thankful for the respondents who allowed me to interview and agreed to let me record their stories. Through these interviews, I’ve realised how similar life can be for all of us. The feelings of loss, having to take responsibility for your health and staying away from family: it’s not easy and facing it alone only gets harder. You judge yourself again and again. There are so many questions you have for yourself. So many choices to make. However, I feel that as daunting living alone in this period of life can be, it’s an important decision. A new city is a way for people to cast away who they were and try to be someone else or even a chance to regain something about themselves that they had to suppress because of their environment. Below is a snippet of an interview with one of the respondents who talks about her life and what she expects for her future.
Xie Jinghang
Xie Jinghang is a nineteen year old from Hunan Province in China, famous for it’s spicy cuisine. Her name Jinghang Xie, in Chinese refers to ‘Jing’ for quiet and ‘Hang’ for space. She is currently pursuing her Bachelors in Hotel Management, a four-year course from a Dubai University. She goes by the name “Crystal” because foreigners are unable to properly pronounce her real name.
What's the meaning of your name?
You know, like it's actually each character, they have different meanings (in chinese). Yeah, we normally say Xie Xie, she is like the letter that means 'thanks' or something. So it's (Xie) just my family name. 'Jing' is like 'quiet' or 'silence' or something like that. Maybe my parents want me to be like a quiet girl, but obviously I'm not. 'Hang' means something like 'galaxy' or 'space'. In China, it's like the old generation like your parents or grandparents, want you to like set sail, like they want you to develop further, go further places (other parts of the world), have better development, something like that.
What made you come to Dubai?
In China our education institution is different and if you're cheating you're gonna be banned from taking the exam in the next three or five years or something. This is very serious, no one can cheat on that exam. But the thing is like we have so many like subjects, we have to do like to take the exam for like eight or nine subjects. That's a lot. But if you want a very good university in China, you have to make sure you are good at every subject, like something like that. Chemistry, So, uh, I'm not the kind of person who is good at, like, something like maybe Chinese and English. But I'm so bad at math. Yeah, I was just like, Oh my God, I cannot do, like, maybe some people say, like Chinese people are good at math. Sorry. I'm not one of those. So this kind of situation will makes me feel like I cannot enter a good university because. And I have very like a bad problem. I cannot make all the subject like average like good grades. I cannot. Yeah. So I have to prepare IELS at that moment. And I also have to prepare the PS, personal statement and also have to prepare like a lot of certificates and something that I've got. So maybe I can get scholarship. So that's I think that's the beginning. Why I came here. I actually negotiated with my parents. Like for such a long time because, like, the typical parents, they were not allowed you to, like, go abroad for study or something. They just want you to, like, follow what everybody would do. Like the same thing. Like exam, you know? So I just think like obviously obviously because of my math or something, I cannot go to a good school, so It's better to take the scholarship and go abroad.
Is this your first time living alone?
I think so, when I was in my primary school, I lived in a like a boarding school. But like, it's the first time. But. But even though while when I was like in the boarding school, I can go back. Come like once a week, like the weekend but it's still like is actually the very first time for me to leave leave like my home for such a long period.
How are the rooms here?
The first time I came here, I feel like I'm satisfied with everything like the comfy bed, the mini table or something but after a long time, I feel like yeah, but after a long time, I think it's too narrow. I feel like it's like ah, how can I say, the space is actually like, you cannot even open the window right. Yeah so you feel like god this is depressive. And the space between you and your roommate is very small. And sometimes like I need my private place.
Did you have your own room back home?
Uh, I actually changed my Chinese social media profile into my room picture. Because although I don't really like the furniture there, because the style I don't really like that but I still miss the little room. Because I can still remember the little things in the room. I think I still miss the things like they were before in China. Yeah a lot of things happened in my room. I really miss everything in China. (pauses) Oh my god I wanna go home.
How is the experience so far living away from family?
I used to think that I'm kind of a person like who don't like miss their family like that much good. I feel like I my miss my grandma and brother, so I miss my grandma because I actually raised up. Yeah. Raised by her. Like she really knows me and she always cooked something that I love. And, I want to be independent. I want to get my own job or something. I want to make my life stable, so maybe I can have more time to be with her. I really miss her. Yeah, I don't know how to express right now, which is I really miss her and I wanna talk with her. I want to take her to, you know, like I wanted to make her feel happy. But I didn't finish my course yet. I just started. So I hope everything will be OK for her. I just always talking to her. Like, please be healthy and be safe. So like, I still had more time to be with you.
What do you miss about home?
I have to say you know Dubai, is a kind of city that developed on the base of desert. You understand? And maybe on the very city center area, Jumeirah, Marina, it's good there is nothing different to you know, Shanghai and Beijing, but you know living in, uhm, far away from city center, Academic city so it's like very hard for you. In China, even in a very suburb area there are a lot of people and shops and you can just walk around you will feel like like home, you know? The environment maybe? And it always desert, like when you are walking here, you feel like lonely.
What would you miss about Dubai?
I think the friends here. As I mentioned before, you know, sometimes,in China because everywhere's crowded. Yeah. If you're really sad and you're walking on the street but everybody have their own partner, their families and friends. You feel like very lonely. It feels like you are not suitable for views, you know the background. You understand what I'm talking about? Just like the people just passing by. It's like a very huge background and you're not like these people like, it's not so good for you. To like be with them. You're different, you know like it seems like you're a person from another world. Away from the city center in like Academic city, but sometimes you feel like upset and you need to be alone, it's a good place for you. You could just walk around, there's no one going to disturb you. Like just walking. And I think it's quite safe Academic city because there are not so many people over here. You can just walk along with the street and turn left, turn right whatever you want. And then you can go back and you can think a lot on the way. That's like, you know, the things have like two sides like you can't think be by yourself if you feel like you want to be alone, but sometimes you're like lonely, something like that. Because I'm here like, alone so yeah, I have to make myself like be strong. Yeah, but if I go back to their own country alone city, I'll become lazy again. I have someone and some place I can rely on.
Because I'm here alone, I have to be strong.
I feel panic sometimes but you know, step-by-step.
My future? (in four years) I'm not optimistic. I think I will work in Dubai though. But I've heard the salary is very low in hotel management. Actually, I just choose Hotel Management but after one year of study, I don't think I love that life. Maybe I'll change my course when I do my Masters. But I have to work for a few years because you know the tuition fee is, you know, not a joke. It's expensive but I don't know if I'll get my Master's degree in Dubai or some other country. I still have to work for a few years. How can I get promoted? How can I have a better future you know? I'm still confused right now.
Does this, scare you, like how it's not decided?
Sometimes, because I always have like an exact plan or something but I'm always confused I don't know what my future will be like, I feel panic sometimes but, you know, step-by-step. You cannot know like, maybe after one or two years, I will have an answer, there is still like a lot of opportunities here in Dubai, I think but still, I don't know if I can meet them.
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What would be your message to your future self?
Four years, so 23, so I'm still young. I hope like, I'm so confused right now, so you know at that moment, I hope I know what I wanna do. I have an exact target and I just work for that target, maybe it's hard or easy but I hope for clarity at that moment. Rather than now, I'm just confused and doing nothing. I hope I feel motivated every day. Every day is too hard for me. I hope I feel more optimistic and not negative in the future. And I hope COVID is fine. I have a chance to go back, the flight price is back to normal. So I can meet my friends and parents.
What is the hardest part about living alone?
I feel like I'm a very independent person. Yeah, I can handle all problems here but sometimes when all the bad things happen, whether from work or from friendship or the relationship between you and some others, like all the bad things like come together once. You feel like, oh my god, you're more or just like a huge disaster, you feel like you're dying or something. I don't know who I can share it with. I don't wanna share the bad news with my family because they're in China, they can do nothing. They just worry for nothing.
I want myself to digest everything, but that's a very painful process.
So I don't want to be like that. I want myself to digest everything and that’s a very painful process. Actually, at the end of last year, I got COVID, I didn't mention it to anyone, even at that moment I was like, I was quarantined in my room all the time. I actually had very severe symptoms like sore throat and coughing or something. My dad, he actually did like facetime (videocall) to me. I've tried to pretend to speak loudly so he cannot see like my throat is actually. So I just, "Ah dad", something in a very loud voice. So he didn't know I got COVID, so after I recovered, after like a month. I mentioned, "Dad I got COVID", he was like, "Why didn't you tell me?", I was just like, "It's okay It's already in the past, I'm recovering."